They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
