She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
