Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
