Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
