Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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