why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
