"it" just moved
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
