Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
