38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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