turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
