my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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