I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
