Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
