Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
