sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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