im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
