idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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