for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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