Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
