Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
