how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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