Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
