Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
