So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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