Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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