I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you would pick up someone in the library
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
