going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
