I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
