What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
