No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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