I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
