we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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