if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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