i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
