Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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