Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
