yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
