people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
