I heard we made out
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
