So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
