he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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