Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
