I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
