Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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