This girl is more easily done than said...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
