i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i came on her dog
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
