thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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