I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
