he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
