oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
