In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
