One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
